Redefining the Wedding Party

Most same sex ceremonies dont necessarily fit with what we have become used to in weddings. I find this super exciting because we are in such a wonderful time when same sex couples entering into formalised civil partnerships will be redefining many of the age old traditions we are used to.

Nowhere else is this more evident than in the ‘wedding party’. In writing this, I’m going to stick to the gender neutral term “attendant”, but really – you can use what ever terms suit you and your wedding party. For example, you could have a best man, best woman, maid of honour, attendant, groomsman, bridesmaid, person of honour, best person, best people, man of honour, bestie, BFF or any other term. Additionally, these will not always apply to the genders we are used to, for example a groom may have a man of honour, or a bride may have a best person. Alternatively, you might choose not to have a wedding party at all.

When your planning your ceremony here are some things that you might want to keep in mind;

  • You don’t have to have the same number of attendants on either side.  It doesn’t have to be symmetrical.
  • You and your wedding party might not be comfortable with the hetero normative gender roles associated with wedding tasks.
  • You might choose not to have children at your ceremony or reception, this can include not having any flower children or ring bearer.
  • Many civil partnerships don’t have bachelor parties or bridal showers but then again – you might have a gigantic party like no other.
  • Most couples don’t ask their attendants to dance with one another – but your attendants might want to.
  • You might not expect or want your attendants to all wear the exact same attire. Female attendants aren’t expected to wear the same dress, if they are even asked to wear a dress at all.
  • There are often no formal introductions at the ceremony or if there are, it’s typically just the newlyweds.

The key to planning the ceremony of your dreams? Do whatever you like.

I can help you plan a wonderful ceremony taht suits you and your partner – and you can use old traditions and make new ones – Its entirly up to you.


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